In Today’s World, Where do I fit in?

The election is done! The inauguration has happened and yet, people are still wailing and moaning and decrying that ‘This is not my president!’

This past weekend, the women’s march continued to separate our nation. If you didn’t support the march, you’re a Trump supporter (not meant to be a compliment), or against human rights, or uninformed.

Words which, at one time, were derogatory, are now a badge of honor. What has happened to us? What does our future hold when people are fighting so hard to show that they know more than you, or worse, that you know nothing?

Not that a college degree necessarily conveys intelligence, but I have a college degree, many life experiences, common sense and yet, I have had people speak AT me as if I had not a brain in my head. And generally, the people who speak that way to me are of a different political affiliation. Because I chose not to support Hillary Clinton, I am treated as if I am ignorant.

For the record, I am a strong woman, intelligent, well-informed about many things and I chose to not support Hillary Clinton because I viewed her as weak. I chose to not support Hillary Clinton because I believe she gave the sacrament of marriage a bad name when she chose to turn her head to her husband’s continued philandering. I chose not to support her because she supported a man who abused his authority and denied having sex with a White House intern.

I think there was a recent incident where a television CEO stepped down for sexual harassment, not sexual activity, but words! I am not condoning what this CEO did (it was very wrong) but he received a much harsher punishment than Bill Clinton. Some may say, ‘Well, that was years ago!’ You are correct, but Hillary Clinton remained married and publicly supported her husband when allegations were purported and his affairs continued.

I also chose not to support Hillary Clinton because I feared government would continue to brainwash people by offering them ‘the fish’, instead of teaching them to fish.

I believe government has worked to make people dependent on government support.

I believe that people should work hard to be independent of government handouts.

I believe the premise of smaller government.

I believe, that while we need immigration in this country, we need to know who is coming into the country and immigrants should be documented. AND, if you are in the country without going through the proper channels, you are illegal.

I lock my doors at night so people I don’t want in my home, don’t enter without my knowledge. And if you lock the doors to your home or your car, then you too, should want to know who enters our country. If you can honestly say you don’t mind who comes and goes from your home without regard, then maybe you can truthfully say you don’t mind not knowing who comes and goes from our borders.Think about it people!

But where do I fit in to this world? And this is maybe why people don’t think I have a brain in my head…my lifelong dream is to be the best mom, best wife, best housewife that I can be. While my life is not defined by these things, these are very important to me. And that seems to be a rare dream these days.

When I went off to college, my dad said to me, ‘I don’t care if you are going to college to get your MRS degree; one of the big reasons for college is to learn to be independent in a protected atmosphere.’ My mom said to me that it is fine if I want to be a wife and mother but I need an education to fall back on if something should happen and I never marry or my husband dies at a young age.

I met sexual harassment in my younger years when I didn’t get a promotion because I wouldn’t date the boss. I felt the stab of harassment when inappropriate comments were made about my breastfeeding by a superior. I felt betrayed when a supervisor looked at his superiors and blamed me for something that was not my fault. In private, he apologized and in his apology, he told me he wasn’t willing to take the heat, so he threw me under the bus. I left that meeting, called a friend and had another job in a different state before my lunch was over. Did I really want to work for someone like that?

So don’t think that I am uninformed or sheltered. What did I think about these experiences? First of all, I thought the men were idiots! Secondly, I was not scarred for life. I still think these men are idiots but I know that I am in control of my attitude and ultimately, I control my destiny.

In the different jobs I have had, there has not been the opportunity for me to experience unequal pay.Well, maybe, I don’t know, but I have never been unhappy with what I was paid. If I was unhappy, I took my complaint to my superior and presented my case for needing a higher salary. I feel like if you are happy with what you make, what difference does it matter, what other people make? If you were happy with your salary and then found out that someone else makes more, then all of a sudden your aren’t happy? If you were happy before you knew what someone else makes, why does knowing make you unhappy? (I know I am repeating myself. I am confused. If you feel valued and feel your salary is fair then that’s that. If you don’t feel you are getting paid what you deserve, then deal with that. What someone else makes shouldn’t matter. These days, it is pretty easy to find what the going salary is for any given career.)

I spoke with my husband about unequal pay and he has never seen that either, in his career. His career with the state and then in private manufacturing for 20+ years, had both men and women with equal pay for equal qualifications. So I am curious as to what careers, when qualifications are equal-equal, have men making more than women? In this, I can claim inexperience, because I have never seen it.

Remember…my family and home are the most important for me. So I don’t want to be married to my job. I want to look at my supervisor and tell him that my child needs me and I need to leave and take care of my child.

I need to have the flexibility, in my job, to take care of things which can only be done during regular business hours. I am the manager of my home and family. Even though my children are in college, I still schedule their doctor visits; I manage calendars, bill-paying and home cleaning. I am the one who generally handles getting vehicle maintenance done.  I manage the house and manage the family.

You can either pay someone to do those things because you are married to your job, or you have a career which offers flexibility. This may also may mean, you don’t make as much money! That is a trade-off which I am willing to have.

Remember…my family and home are the most important for me. I am married and so my situation may be different from others. I believe that, as a couple, decisions need to be made as to the roles in the home. As a couple, this is the role in which we have agreed; my husband is (kind of) married to his career, which means I take on almost all of the home responsibilities.

That meant that I was the one who stayed up with the kids when they were ill because I did not have to go to the office in the morning. It was my responsibility to get the kids to the bus stop. It was my job to do the grocery and clothing shopping. I was the children’s taxi, not my husband. His job was to make the money, so the home could run smoothly. I took over mowing the lawn until a riding lawn mower was purchased and the kids got old enough to mow. But, when I went to work full-time, outside the home, my husband started helping with household chores. That is what happens when you are married, you work together for the betterment of the family.

I do not believe I have experienced discrimination as a female, to the extent that I feel mistreated, dehumanized and/or devalued. Do I have the intelligence, stamina and ability to become a successful career person? ABSOLUTELY! Is that a goal in my life-ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I am ME! Don’t put me into some generic category and label me because you think you know who I am. I had a man tell me that, as a Republican, I did not believe in the welfare system or environmental causes and that I was all about what I could do for me! When I told him that I volunteered in the schools, and the community, and my church and that I donated money and items to numerous organizations (including my church) and that I recycled and have lived in an energy-efficient home since 1991, his only come back was that churches were awful places (with many expletives in his comments). He could only cuss at me because I was doing more to help my world than he could imagine doing himself. He was all talk and very little action.

You know, in the scheme of things, it doesn’t make much difference how I fit in this world or how other people view my life. Yes, I get frustrated when people try to peg me into their square hole, or don’t try to understand who I am. Yes, I get furious when I see people trying to see around the log in their eye to pluck out the splinter in my eye.

I try to be a good person and as I have gotten older, I have been trying to be more understanding of others and less judgmental. I think sometimes, I am more understanding and more accepting than some people who are trying to get that splinter out of my eye. (I know, that is being judgmental!)

But here is the deal, I only have to justify myself to God, not to my neighbor, the person down the street, or anyone on Facebook. I live my life as honestly and godly as I can and people are just going to have to accept it. If I don’t fit well in this world, maybe it is because I am trying to work towards an eternal life after this one is over, where we will all get along and there will be no need for protests, marches or presidential elections.

 

Advertisements

Political Correctness-Political Reality-the Real World Part One

As a person with a background in journalism, I have always tried to write in an unbiased way when it came to NEWS. I make no bones about it when I am expressing an opinion, but in trying to report the facts, I try to do just that.

In this day and age, when reporting the news is more about who can be the first to disseminate the information, facts are sometimes secondary; you can always submit a retraction! OR, the other thing that is done, is reporting half the news because it fits your agenda; only share half the quote, present facts that are not relevant to this day and time. I have had this blog rolling around in my head for a long time. I could never have it gel into a readable prose so I opted to let it keep spinning and spinning and spinning. It just didn’t seem that I would ever be able to put my thoughts down-until today! This may still become a rambling but I hope you will bear with me as I try to help us make sense of this insane world. And I will try to do my best to stay on topic. (That is the nice thing about blogging, I can always edit and let it sit before I publish. But it will be my words and I will research facts. The best of both worlds, news and editorials!)

Even is this world of social media, worldwide connections and instant news, people in the United States are still pretty naive about other countries. Today I blog about immigration, the law and the reality.

My research showed that the United States has some of the most lax laws when it comes to immigration. For example:

In Mexico, you must  speak Spanish and must be a professional who is useful to the Mexican society.  All government publications are done in English. If you are a foreign business, you must pay your workers higher than a Mexican based company. (Article 32). If one wants to live in Mexico, proof must be shown that there are enough necessary funds to support themselves and their dependents.

When my family lived in Spain, we found that some of those same rules applied. I do not know if the laws have been amended, but when we were there, a foreigner had to show proof of funds to live and could not be in the country to work in a job that could be filled by a native. One of the cooks at the restaurant where we frequented was actually a doctor from Russia. She told us that it was better for her to cook (her husband owned the bar) than to practice in the Barcelona area. In Cataluna, you were required to be sufficient in Catalan, as you needed to be able to treat natives in their native tongue. She said that the requirements were too strict for her, as an immigrant, to practice medicine. (It was lucky that the company for which my husband worked was a worldwide country, so he could do business in English. He did learn Catalan and I learned Spanish though.)

The Guardian, a newspaper of England, in 2015, reported that a law will go into effect that…’Non-EU migrants who have spent more than five years working in the country will be required to earn £35,000 per year or else face deportation, according to a policy that comes into effect in April next year.’ That is over $49,300 a year in American dollars.

To immigrate to Canada, there is a point system. You get points based on your work experience, your education, your language, age and adaptability to Canadian life (Yes, that is on the point structure) “The Canadian government also takes adaptability into account when evaluating any applicant. The adaptability category addresses a potential applicant’s perceived ability to adapt quickly to life in Canada. The Canadian Government will award any applicant who has relatives in Canada or has spent time in Canada working or studying.”
Read more at http://www.canadavisa.com/canadian-immigration-requirements.html#kFxD70dGg7AwKJTo.99 http://www.canadavisa.com/canadian-immigration-requirements.html The United States does not have an adaptability requirement that I could find.

Speaking English is not a requirement to apply for a Visa to live and work in the United States. In Mexico and Canada, you need to speak their language (for Canada it is English and/or French) Whether that actually happens, I do not know, but that is their law.

The United States requires that proof be shown that the new immigrant will not live in poverty. But it states that if the sponsoring company or family cannot provide proper documentation for income, the sponsoring entity can go to other sources and have them provide supporting documentation and it can include property, bank accounts, assets that can be liquidated within the year. So the US is bending over backwards to help people meet the financial requirement. (I mean can you imagine a sponsoring families extended family selling their home to provide you income, say a cousin of the sponsor? That cousin could be one an additional sponsor and use their home as proof of necessary funds) https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-processes-and-procedures/affidavit-support

There are those who want our borders opened for all. Really? We don’t want to know who is coming into our land? We don’t want to weed out the thieves, murderers, mortally ill, those dependent on their native governments for assistance (which means when they come here, they are dependent on our government). Do we want un-skilled laborers who will need government assistance to live here? It doesn’t make sense to me that there are people out there who don’t care about those things.

I pay my taxes; I donate my time to non-profit organizations; I donate to our food bank and give clothes (new and gently worn) to our local business, run  by our ministerial association. (It is the equivalent to the Goodwill or Salvation Army.) But I have limited resources. Believe it or not, our country has limited resources.

If you are looking at me cross-eyed now and think that I am insane, let’s take this home, literally! Think of your home, would you leave your doors wide open for anyone to walk into your home? What if you have a one-bedroom apartment, would you want 4 or 5 living with you? Are you willing to pay for all of their expenses because as a sponsor, you are supposed to guarantee it. Yes, the majority of the time, you might be okay and safe. But we have locks on our doors, to keep our loved ones safe from harm. We have security passwords for our bank and credit card accounts to ensure that our finances are safe from dishonest people.

That is all I ask, that we look at what we can do, and do it, but realize that there is a reason for vetting immigrants. It is for the safety of our country; it is for the safety of our loved ones. I was an immigrant in a foreign country. It was not an easy process, but we went through all of the steps because that is what was required. And look outside our borders when people become so judgmental of our process; every country has immigration policies and many are stricter that the United States.

If you are so adamant about immigration but would not be willing to sponsor an immigrant to this country and guarantee the 125% funds that are required to secure an immigrant, then you are just words. I believe in controlled immigration.

I am grateful, as a third generation American, that my great grandparents came to this country. I am grateful that they went through the proper channels that I am a U.S. citizen.

I will continue on this venue. I will write next on how things have changed and we can’t treat immigrants in 2016 like our ancestors were treated. I will relate a communication that spurned me to write.